• Jenny

People Who Suck at Traveling

Updated: Nov 24, 2019


For those of us experienced travelers, there are certain unwritten rules we learn over time. And then there are the people who break those rules. Things that can either make or break the travel experience for the people around you. Let's call it airline etiquette. And let’s call out the people who suck at it. You know who you are. And we hate you.


The Rookie

This is the person who arrives at the security checkpoint completely unprepared. They hold up the entire line because they aren't ready, which makes the TSA agents angry and life unpleasant for the rest of us. Please, for the love of God, get your S#&% together BEFORE you get in line. Here are some tips to help you do that.

TSA Pre-check line

1. Have your liquids in a quart size bag, but do NOT take them out.

2. Do not take off your shoes or belt.

3. Do not take your electronics out of your bags, unless you have more than one

laptop. If so, notify the agent. They may ask you to take one of them out.

4. Leave your sweater or light jacket on, but take off larger coats.

5. Take everything out of your pockets. This includes pants pockets as well as jacket

pockets. Take out money, keys, wallets, and cell phones. EVERYTHING!


Regular Security Line

1. Have your liquids in a quart size bag, and easily accessible. Take it out and put it in

a bin. ALL liquids must be 100 ml or less (3.4 ounces). This includes gels, creams,

and aerosols. Yes, this means you can't take your bottled water through security.

2. Take off your shoes and belt and put them in a bin.

3. Take out your laptop and/or iPad and put them in a bin.

4. Take off jackets or coats. You may even have to take off bulky sweaters or hoodies.

5. Take everything out of your pockets. This includes pants pockets as well as jacket

pockets. Take out money, keys, wallets, and cell phones. EVERYTHING!


* If you don't want to have to do all of this, consider getting TSA Pre-check. It will change your life. Otherwise, suck it up and follow the rules. Check here for more information.


The Aisle Blocker

The aisle blocker comes in two forms. First we have the one who, like The Rookie, doesn't have all their s#$% together before they board the plane. They get to their seat and have to dig through their carry on bag to find the things they want with them for the flight. Or they have more than their allotted carry on bags and need time to figure out what to do with all of them. Either way, the rest of us are left waiting. And waiting.


Second is the person who moves at sloth-like speed and is oblivious to the fact that they are stopping everyone else from boarding the plane. This may or may not be combined with the person who either doesn't know what seat they are supposed to be in, or can't figure out which seat is the A, B, C, D or F. Again, the rest of us are waiting. In extreme cases, this is the person who actually sits in the wrong seat. This causes even more delays when the person who the seat belongs to arrives and things must be sorted out.


Here's how to avoid being an Aisle Blocker.


1. Be organized. Decide which items you want with you on the flight, and carry them

in your hand, in a small bag, or have them easily accessible from your carry on.

2. Have the right number of bags, the right size. If you have too many items, you may

not have room for all of them.

3. Sit in the right seat. Use the seating chart on the airline app or website to see

where your seat is ahead of time. If all else fails, look at the little pictures above the

seats. There is usually a picture of a window next to the letter that is a window seat.


The Bin Hoarder

This person thinks they are entitled to more than their fair share of overhead bin space. Thus, leaving less space for the rest of us. They may also suffer from the delusion that overhead bin selection is a free-for-all; therefore, setting off a chain reaction across the plane. There are multiple ways that these misguided views can manifest themselves.


1. Using an overhead bin that is closest to the front of the plane, instead of the one

that is closest to your seat. It may seem like you are being efficient, but here is the

problem. You use a bin above someone else's seat near the front of the plane.

When that person boards the plane, there is no space for their bag. Now they have

to go find a spot in a bin that is several rows behind their seat, or worse, at the

back of the plane. When the plane reaches its destination, that person has to wait

until everyone gets off the plane to go back and retrieve their bag.


2. Placing more than one bag, or multiple other items, in an overhead bin. How

frustrating is it to get to your seat and look around for bin space, only to find that

the bins are filled with purses, puffy coats, and sun hats. Instead of offering to

move these items, the offenders sit silently while you struggle to find a spot in a bin

nearby, or not so nearby. Now that you've had to use space in someone else's bin,

this can set off a chain reaction that will eventually lead to someone not having any

space at all. Do you want to be the poor sucker who has to have their bag put

under the plane because someone ELSE didn't follow the rules?


The Overly Aggressive Recliner

The plane is in flight, and you've settled in and gotten comfortable. Well, as much as possible considering the 8 inches of space you have between you and the seat in front of you. All of a sudden, Tony the Knee-Cracker in front of you slams his seat back into a full recline without even checking up.


Now, you have every right to recline your seat. I'm just saying, look to see if someone is behind you first, what their situation is, and then recline slowly. Here are some things to consider about the person behind you.


1. They may be tall and have no choice other than to have their knees up against the

back of your seat. It can be quite painful to have a seat come back at full force.


2. They may have their tray table down with a laptop, food, or drinks on it. Reclining

quickly can damage their computer, knock over their drink, or spill their food.


* The reverse of this and just as frustrating is pushing into, kicking, or allowing a child to kick, hit or, bang on the seat in front of you. Just follow the golden rule, people!


The Self-Proclaimed VIP

This person, for whatever reason, thinks it's more important for them to get off the plane than anyone else. They stand up as SOON as the plane stops at the gate, grab their bags, and walk one or more rows ahead of where there seat was. In doing so, they are now effectively blocking other people from getting up from their own rows and getting their bags.


These are also usually the people who, when you do try to stand up to take your place in the center aisle "line", will refuse to move and/or push into you...making you want to throat chop them. Something about being trapped in a confined space with 100 or more strangers can make you go a little crazy. Don't get sucked into that dark place!


I know, we've all been in situations where we had a tight connection and every precious minute counted. However, keep in mind that there may be other people on your flight who have similar circumstances. If you feel that skipping a few people will truly make a difference in making your connection, just ask the people in front of you if they mind you getting in front of them. Otherwise, just wait your turn like the rest of us.


The Baggage Carrousel Vulture

While waiting for the baggage to start coming down the carrousel, most people stand within a respectable distance from the conveyor belt. This allows everyone to see their bags and gives them room to walk up and pick them up off the belt when they come by.


Then you have the vultures. These people. These people! They push their way past everyone who is waiting and stand directly next to the carrousel, blocking other people from even seeing their bags, much less being able to pick them up off the belt.


Is it really necessary to hover over the carrousel like birds of prey? I mean, it's not like the bags are going by at light speed or anything. And in case you didn't notice...the carrousel runs in a loop. If you miss your bag the first time, I'm pretty sure it will come around again.


If you're one of these people, cease and desist now! Seriously, stop.

If everyone followed the proper airplane etiquette, travel would be so much more pleasant for everyone! I hope you found this article humorous, while also helpful. I'd love to hear your feedback.

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